Monday, June 27, 2011

Say what you need to say

So often we find ourselves failing to communicate on small, minor issues that hinder relationships with friends, family and significant others. We are afraid to hurt the other's feelings or are afraid of conflict and thus we hide them, keeping them to ourselves. These issues build up inside of us causing unnecessary anxiety and negative energy often making the problem much worse.

"Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry"
~Ephesians 4: 25-26

Many of these, seemingly small, issues could simply be avoided with better communication. Rather than keeping to ourselves we should actually be more direct and concise about our feelings. In love, we should share what is bothering us in a non threatening and productive manner. With such simple communication so many things that typically go unresolved, would easily be resolved.

However, effective communication is a two way street and in order for it to be productive we, sometimes, have to be on the listening end of the communication. We find ourselves defensive when the people we care about most offer us constructive criticism making it harder for them to effectively communicate. When we react negatively we create a situation in which the other feels as if it is better to not say anything, than to offend. Rather than being offended, we should work on actually listening and trying to understand why the other person feels this way. Everyone is very different and handles situations differently, so even if you think you are not being mean or bothersome, see if you can understand why someone would perceive you that way.....and fix it!

As you may have noticed from reading, I write about things that I need to work on or hear myself. In fact, this is an area that I really struggle and I understand that it is not easy to communicate. I often hold grudges, letting them stir inside me while radiating negative vibes that are uncalled for. I fail to quickly communicate my feelings and avoid making it right. I also am a bad listener and as I am sitting here writing I am realizing that if I am ever doing something that someone that I care about does not like, is bothered by, or feels discomfort from, I would want to know immediately so that I can fix it. I do not want to be a negative thing in anyone's life, much less the people I care about most.

“Communication works for those who work at it.”~John Powell

Life is not easy but if we work together, stop caring about ourselves and learn to care more about the people around us we can make it a better place. Better communication is a great start and will come from a unselfish mindset. Who knows, we might see better relationships form with the people most important to us.

"Be completly humble and gentle, be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace." Ephesians 4:2-3

Crashin' after a long day