I am a sinner. My mind and heart are filled with selfish desires. I lust, I cuss, I have a hard time forgiving others. Its really hard for me to always love my neighbor. I struggle with faith and I am easily knocked off the path for which I am called. I am constantly feeling self righteous and forget to give the good Lord all the glory that is His.
"No one is righteous-not even one. No one is truly wise; no one is seeking God. All have turned away; all have become useless. No one does good, not a single one."~Romans 3:10-12
But one thing has changed. I love the Lord Jesus Christ with all my heart and soul. Knowing Him has created a desire to live as a son of God, to try and live as Jesus lived. You see, I have always been full of sin and the hardest thing for me to accept is that no matter how hard I desire to be better, I will always fall short of the glory of God. As a human, it is impossible to live a sin free life. However, rather than accepting that fact I desire to be better and to always improve for God.
Today, when I sin, I feel that I have sinned against God who has been so faithful and has blessed me beyond what I could ever imagine. The same sin is still prevalent in my life but God works in my heart and reminds me what is right and wrong. Because the task of living as Jesus is impossible, it makes it easy to give up and just accept that. But rather than accept that fact, I am constantly asking Him to help me to be better.
Before when I sinned, I knew no God. So for me, the sin was not sin but rather my "right". Knowing God has not made me not a sinner, but rather has helped me to understand that I am sinner. Knowing this fact has allowed me to take my burdens and sin to God because His acceptance is all that I need.
We often judge religion based on the people that practice it saying "He/She is such a hypocrit". And we are right, we are all hypocrits. We preach one thing and practice another but that is a reality we all must accept. Rather than me judge you or I, we should praise the great God who loves you and I. What an amazing and loving God that would love someone like me. Jesus died on the cross so that sinners like me could exchange their sin for God's love. But no where in the bible, does it say that I am no longer a sinner because I know God.
Many people that read this blog may know me personally and feel as if this is a front or not who I really am. And again, you are right. I am not what I preach, but I want to be. I desire to be the most faithful servant of God, to not lust and love my neighbor; to never judge and to always remember that all the glory is God's above. The posts that I write, are not me making a claim that I live a certain way but rather are a way for me to share what God is working in my heart with others. Don't judge my God based on me, but rather praise God for accepting me.
Without a doubt, my life is better today than it has ever been and for that I am thankful to God. Walking with God is a very hard call but that hard walk continues to bring blessings into my life. These blessings are not monetary blessings but rather lessons that I am learning about how to live as a Christ follower. The blessings are as simple as realizing right after I sin that I have sinned and feeling guilty to God for that sin.
As I walk in my faith I pray for brothers and sisters to come together and help me walk with God. I need help and assistance in more ways than you can imagine and I hope for God to bring Godly people into my life that will help me get back on tract when I stray. The same as these people help me, I pray that I can have the wisdom and strength through God to return the favor. Its a tough world we live in and the only way to make it is to know God.
I know what I want to be but I also understand what I am. One thing has changed....
-EC
